I had a talk with the children today. It was a while in coming. You see, it's time to take a step forward. It's time for some independence... for Mom.
I've had several conversations recently with family and friends about kids taking initiative in personal responsibilities. Is it personality driven or a learned behavior? Gender related? I have no idea. What I do know is that I am sick and tired of having to tell them to do their chores, which chores to do, and manage the whole buffet of household "whatnot"ery.
Today, I made a list of all the chores they knew how to do. It's mighty fancy (NOT). We talked about how I was going to be really busy in a month or so with two classes of graduate work and starting a school year with a new team member. About then it started to dawn on the kidlets that something out of their experience was coming. I asked them to help think of ways to make the dreaded chores automatic in their lives, so I wouldn't have to direct them. They didn't get it. "But Mom, we always do what you tell us to do." "What if I didn't have to tell you?" "Then how would we know to do it?" Exactly.
I got a sinking feeling in my tummy that this is going to be a long road to walk. I used the floor as an example. I hadn't told anyone to sweep in an embarrassingly long time and it was nasty. I asked them to look at it and see what I meant about "if you see it needs doing, get it done". They looked at me with wide innocent eyes and proclaimed "It looks fine Mom". Hmmm, they really didn't see the dog hair, dirt, crumbs, leaves, toys, and used Kleenex under the coffee table.
Taking the initiative requires the knowledge that something needs to be done. Somehow, the fact that something ALWAYS needs to be done is not in their personal encyclopedia of general knowledge.
So, I am embarking on an experiment to see if I can teach two good little boys how to take initiative and just get it done without me telling them to do it.
Stop Laughing! Let a girl dream a little!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
The Summer Life
The Summer Life, it's a whole different world. It does amazing things in our family. We spend time together. We play games. We watch amazing amount of television. We go places. We don't feel run by schedules and alarms. We relax and ride the waves of life, much like a lazy river at a water park.
Our schedules, which are unashamedly rigid during the school year, get much less apparent, nonexistent you might say. For example, my 10 pm Cinderella type self was wide awake after 12:30 am this morning. I only went to bed because the poor husband had to go to work in the morning. During the school year, I am up around 5:30 am, 6:00 if the alarm doesn't go off. I woke at 9:15 this morning (after being awake for a bit while the poor husband got ready and left for work).
The dark circles under my eyes go away in the summer. The twitch in my right eye disappears, too. I cook more often. I look for healthy instead of fast foods, sometimes. I answer "sure, why not!" much more often when the kids ask for something or to do something. I forget to eat lunch at lunch time and usually end up having linner or dunch. I read a lot of books and see movies. It's a good life.
This summer has been a lot of traveling, but is finally settling down. We have gone some amazing places, but I am happy to be home for a while. After about 2 weeks at home, I usually feel the need to clean stuff. So, that should be happening pretty soon. I hope. I really want to have the compulsion to keep a clean and tidy house. But that bend in the lazy river of life has yet to arrive. Until then, we will float along doing what needs to be done.
Taking college courses is a new thing this summer. I am currently in a class about reference services in the library and have several projects to complete, along with some traditional paper activities. It's a really informational class. I still have a lot to do in the next 2 weeks. I find it hard to switch back and forth between studious student and laid back Mom, but it is working out. I love to geek out and learn stuff. I love to be a lazy lump and vegetate. It is my Summer Life. And I like it!
Our schedules, which are unashamedly rigid during the school year, get much less apparent, nonexistent you might say. For example, my 10 pm Cinderella type self was wide awake after 12:30 am this morning. I only went to bed because the poor husband had to go to work in the morning. During the school year, I am up around 5:30 am, 6:00 if the alarm doesn't go off. I woke at 9:15 this morning (after being awake for a bit while the poor husband got ready and left for work).
The dark circles under my eyes go away in the summer. The twitch in my right eye disappears, too. I cook more often. I look for healthy instead of fast foods, sometimes. I answer "sure, why not!" much more often when the kids ask for something or to do something. I forget to eat lunch at lunch time and usually end up having linner or dunch. I read a lot of books and see movies. It's a good life.
This summer has been a lot of traveling, but is finally settling down. We have gone some amazing places, but I am happy to be home for a while. After about 2 weeks at home, I usually feel the need to clean stuff. So, that should be happening pretty soon. I hope. I really want to have the compulsion to keep a clean and tidy house. But that bend in the lazy river of life has yet to arrive. Until then, we will float along doing what needs to be done.
Taking college courses is a new thing this summer. I am currently in a class about reference services in the library and have several projects to complete, along with some traditional paper activities. It's a really informational class. I still have a lot to do in the next 2 weeks. I find it hard to switch back and forth between studious student and laid back Mom, but it is working out. I love to geek out and learn stuff. I love to be a lazy lump and vegetate. It is my Summer Life. And I like it!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
What to do?What to do?
I looked at the calendar yesterday and realized it was my first day of summer! How could July 1 be the first day? Well, it was the first day I didn't have anything pressing to do since I got out of school. June flew by at the rate of light. I'm sure there was a WARP drive in there somewhere. And now I have 3 whole days before I am off on another trip. And the husband is home because he took a day off! Woo-hoo!
So, I sit here and wonder what I will do with the day. I don't want to spend it online. I want to DO something. Something new. Something I've done before. It doesn't really matter. Just so that the family can do something together. We've done lots of stuff. Just not much together. Because we haven't really been together much. Between trips and VBS and that pesky job, our family time has shrunk to nothingness.
The problem is, I don't know what I want to do. A movie was suggested. Not a bad idea. But not amazing. A mall excursion. Nah, who wants to just window shop? Bowling? perhaps. Kayaking to the lake? maybe if it isn't too hot.
Hmm, I still don't know. But I do know I need a shower. So that is a good place to start. Maybe a great idea will strike as I wash my hair.
So, I sit here and wonder what I will do with the day. I don't want to spend it online. I want to DO something. Something new. Something I've done before. It doesn't really matter. Just so that the family can do something together. We've done lots of stuff. Just not much together. Because we haven't really been together much. Between trips and VBS and that pesky job, our family time has shrunk to nothingness.
The problem is, I don't know what I want to do. A movie was suggested. Not a bad idea. But not amazing. A mall excursion. Nah, who wants to just window shop? Bowling? perhaps. Kayaking to the lake? maybe if it isn't too hot.
Hmm, I still don't know. But I do know I need a shower. So that is a good place to start. Maybe a great idea will strike as I wash my hair.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Stretched and streching
Truth: God shows his faithfulness in small ways to prepare my heart for bigger steps of faith.
Truth: I am a big chicken who prefers a sure thing over the "maybe"
Truth: Only God knows the future
Truth: I have to daily die to myself to be OK with that
God provided for my summer classes. Even when I was a nervous Nelly who got all worked up over NOTHING, He patiently showed me His quiet way.
Now, I've been presented with the possibility of the family joining Chris on the Germany trip if some very specific things happen. Chris is giddy with the possibility. It's just that, a possibility, not a given. We are in prayer. Care to join us? We are going to get the boys' passports just in case. (because there is nothing else to do this week, of course!)
Can you see me shaking my head? Not in defeat or despair, but more in disbelief that this is my life. Have you ever had that moment when you stop and wonder just what else was in store for the future because the recent past has been incredibly difficult in your faith walk? Sigh. It is my blessed life.
Truth: I am a big chicken who prefers a sure thing over the "maybe"
Truth: Only God knows the future
Truth: I have to daily die to myself to be OK with that
God provided for my summer classes. Even when I was a nervous Nelly who got all worked up over NOTHING, He patiently showed me His quiet way.
Now, I've been presented with the possibility of the family joining Chris on the Germany trip if some very specific things happen. Chris is giddy with the possibility. It's just that, a possibility, not a given. We are in prayer. Care to join us? We are going to get the boys' passports just in case. (because there is nothing else to do this week, of course!)
Can you see me shaking my head? Not in defeat or despair, but more in disbelief that this is my life. Have you ever had that moment when you stop and wonder just what else was in store for the future because the recent past has been incredibly difficult in your faith walk? Sigh. It is my blessed life.
Friday, May 31, 2013
$42
$42.00. The account got down to $42.00 before payday. We were able to make it, and pay for school, and eat, and do what needed to be done. Did you know that the end of school is expensive???
Why do I share such a personal thing you might ask. Because having such slim margins for error freak me out! But I am finding that the older I get, the more important those margins are. And I am questioning if they should be all that important. I think being obediant to what God has called me to do is more important than sweating the money flow.
Why do I share such a personal thing you might ask. Because having such slim margins for error freak me out! But I am finding that the older I get, the more important those margins are. And I am questioning if they should be all that important. I think being obediant to what God has called me to do is more important than sweating the money flow.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Forgot to share
I seldom forget to share stuff as I live my life out in the open, mostly, well, at least the stuff I want you to know.
I did pay the tuition on Friday. And it still hasn't cleared my account. Tomorrow is the day to see if we overdraw or not. I shift back and forth between worry and dread and reminding myself to have faith that the Lord will take care of us. I can no longer wag my finger at those crazy forgetful Hebrews who so quickly walked away from God after He had done so many miracles for them. I, too, forget what He has done.
I forget that He has called me to this process of getting a Master's degree when I worry about getting it all done.
I forget that He has parented me when I worry about how I am parenting my kids.
I forget that He has ordered my steps when I look at my calendar and get the shiver/shakes when I see week after week filled up in "MY" relaxing summer.
I forget that He has called me to live a life without regrets when I see all the things to do on my list instead of opportunities to serve others.
I forget. It's that simple. And He is faithful to remind me who is really the boss in my life.
I did pay the tuition on Friday. And it still hasn't cleared my account. Tomorrow is the day to see if we overdraw or not. I shift back and forth between worry and dread and reminding myself to have faith that the Lord will take care of us. I can no longer wag my finger at those crazy forgetful Hebrews who so quickly walked away from God after He had done so many miracles for them. I, too, forget what He has done.
I forget that He has called me to this process of getting a Master's degree when I worry about getting it all done.
I forget that He has parented me when I worry about how I am parenting my kids.
I forget that He has ordered my steps when I look at my calendar and get the shiver/shakes when I see week after week filled up in "MY" relaxing summer.
I forget that He has called me to live a life without regrets when I see all the things to do on my list instead of opportunities to serve others.
I forget. It's that simple. And He is faithful to remind me who is really the boss in my life.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Faith deadline
I have previously shared my test of faith in regards to tuition for this summer. The deadline is 5 days away. God has shown me that there may be enough left in the checking account for me to pay it outright. That in itself is an answer to prayer. I could transfer the money today. The twist comes with the fact that it will drain the account and leave little spending money for the next week, a week that includes friends coming down for the long weekend, groceries for the family, and some end of school expenses. And a child who is sick with a bug.We don't get paid until Friday. I know that we won't go hungry, though the meals might be highly unbalanced, and the bills won't be late. It's just a really close shave if you know what I mean. I hate not having that "padding" in the account for the unforeseen needs that crop up many times. How much am I willing to sacrifice? How much of my "financial" safety am I willing to sacrifice?
I will most likely decide how to proceed today . Your prayers are precious and working. I stayed strong and didn't jump at the "last minute emergency summer tuition loan" they offered me. I was tempted, but quickly remembered the conviction I am under about that.
I hate deadlines, but they do force me into action when I am frozen in uncertainty. That's a good thing.
I will most likely decide how to proceed today . Your prayers are precious and working. I stayed strong and didn't jump at the "last minute emergency summer tuition loan" they offered me. I was tempted, but quickly remembered the conviction I am under about that.
I hate deadlines, but they do force me into action when I am frozen in uncertainty. That's a good thing.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Lazy Saturday morning
Lazy Saturday morning
A day filled with possibilities
What will I make of it?
Will I worry needlessly about where the money for school will come from?
I will not.
Will I waste the time playing ridiculous games that involve crushing virtual candy?
I will not.
Will I fuss at the family for their inability to see dirt, junk, and mess strewn around the house?
I will not.
Will I spend time with God and ask for the faith to wait patiently for his plan to be made know?
Yes, I will!
Will I work diligently to improve my surroundings for myself and those I love?
Yes, I will!
Will I ask the family to pitch in and help instead of glaring at them while I do it myself?
Yes, I will!
Lazy Saturday morning
A day made more clear
What will I make of it?
A day filled with possibilities
What will I make of it?
Will I worry needlessly about where the money for school will come from?
I will not.
Will I waste the time playing ridiculous games that involve crushing virtual candy?
I will not.
Will I fuss at the family for their inability to see dirt, junk, and mess strewn around the house?
I will not.
Will I spend time with God and ask for the faith to wait patiently for his plan to be made know?
Yes, I will!
Will I work diligently to improve my surroundings for myself and those I love?
Yes, I will!
Will I ask the family to pitch in and help instead of glaring at them while I do it myself?
Yes, I will!
Lazy Saturday morning
A day made more clear
What will I make of it?
