Sunday, September 23, 2012

Thoughts on Puberty

11 almost 12 year old boys are a whole new species. They smell funny. They act weird. Almost everything they have learned since birth about authority is magically deleted from their conscious being. Even the younger brothers notice ("Mom, I don't think I'm going to make it through his puberty time" lamented #2 with a sigh recently).

These beings vascillate nonsensically between childhood and teendom. One moment they are trying to curl in your lap, the next they are looking at you with undisguised disgust because you dared to require they wear a collared shirt to church. Chores are a personal assault on their "fun time", even though it has been an established routine for years. And the food! Oh my! The pickiness mixed with volume makes grocery shopping a new level of Dante's Hell. "Since when don't you like peanut butter? You've always loved peanut butter." "But not now, Mom. I just don't like it. And those apples were, um, not good. And I really don't like the crusts on my bread." Mom stares uncomprehendingly. Who is this child?

I'm just on the tip of this stage of life and I hear the snickers of the moms who have gone before me. I know, it just gets "better". But I already miss my little boy. The one who smelled like lavender baby shampoo and put himself to bed early. I miss the innocent questions and creative discussions. I miss being able to trust him to tell the truth.

So I look into the coming years of The Battle. I am so glad Daddy is here to step in and teach him the things I no longer can.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Shot gun questions

Son #2 loves to shotgun questions at me on the way home for school. He is just asking what has popped into his mind recently, but sometimes the thought train can be a bit intense. Today's round of Shotgun Questions went like this:

Son: Hey Mom, do you remember when you told me where I drank milk from as a baby? (We had a discussion about 3 weeks ago about this, also on the way home from school)
Me: Yes, I do
Son:Well, I am scarred for life! So how does that work? I mean, do you still have milk in there now?
Me: No
Son: Whew, Good, because that would just ruin life for me. So you have to have a baby to have that. Got it. Why do women wear bras?
Me: Um, because we live in America. In other countries sometimes women don't.
Son: So why does Canada have so much snow?
At this point I am shellshocked from trying to keep up. And cannot figure out how he went from bras to Canada, but he proceeded to rant about the lack of REAL bacon in the great North and I had no more questions to answer.

Time spent in conversation: 35 seconds

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Hey Mom, Why do we get dizzy?

What I wanted to say: Well, son, when Mommy has had a hard day, she drinks a little and that makes her dizzy.

What I really said: Oh there is fluid in your ears and when you spin it goes round and round which makes you dizzy.

Both answers are valid.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Feeling the Pressure

I'm feeling like I haven't had any good stories to tell lately. Between the Raccoon Chronicles and Scrambled School I just don't think I have the creative juices or brain power to share anything remotely blog worthy.

So to recap: We had a couple of raccoons decide to redo our siding on the house by the chimney. They thought it should be removed so they could party in our walls. After a few times of this, where they destroyed my sleep patterns, we have had them relocated. I am hoping none of their friends remember our address.

And school started, not just as a teacher, but as a student. So I spend my days teaching and my nights reading books and creating stuff with them. Some days I forget if I'm supposed to be a teacher or a student. And then this week we got to add another teacher to our team to reduce class size. Yay! Then our team leader's mother died. So now we are facilitating a classroom addition and room shift minus one. I'm feeling kind of scrambled.

So, sorry for the lack of family tales. I'll let you know when there are some good ones.