Wednesday, July 28, 2010

MY time

Today was a rare treat. Chris took the kids to the Astros game (after asking me 250 times if I was SURE I didn't want to come as well). So I found myself with 6 hours + of time to MYSELF. Just me. No questions to be answered and no one else's problems to solve. I also realized that this doesn't happen nearly enough to suit my solitary tastes. I know that because I spent 30 minutes trying to decided what to do.

 "Hmm, do I want to clean more of the house, sort through boxes of stuff, go shopping, call a friend, take a nap, watch TV, learn to sew, bake something new and original??" So many choices with my block of free time. I think it's kind of sad that it is such a treat that I didn't know how to use it.. and felt like I had to use it well. Like there was a committee judging me on my performance. "Well Simon, she gets a 10 for productivity but a 3 for creativity."

Then I realized, hmmm, that's kind of how I view my life. So many choices. And a schedule that when altered, takes me a bit to readjust. I worry about how others will think about my choices and I hope they approve. Ok, I don't really worry about it, but I do consider it. And I don't take a lot of chances. Just not in my nature.

Now, many blogging chicks will go from here with a great insight into finding themselves and maintaining good family balance while not losing their identity. They include cute little pictures and catch phrases that make readers chuckle and nod their head. Hmm, me, not so much with the pictures and catch phrases. I am trying to maintain an identity that is mine, not related to being Wifemomfrienddaughtersisterteacher. I am unique as God intended and I embrace all those things about myself. But I also embrace the me that He created before I was any of those things. She gets a little lost and is undeveloped in many ways. But, I think that's the journey of life. At least while I'm in my mid 30's.

MY time today was spent as I wished and I have no noregrets. Except maybe that I have a lot of laundry to sort before I go to bed since it is all on my bed in a large, unfolded mound of fabrics. My kids came home and I gave each a hug and inhaled the sweat infused fragrance of  Little Boy. Not a fragrance for sale anywhere, btw. And I am glad they are back. And ate their fill at the ball game so I don't have to cook a big dinner.

And I am satisfied.


Kim said...

What a TREAT! I hope it was a great day!

Post a Comment