Holiday Humbugs

I have some strong opinions about the current cultural craze of the elf on the shelf. I will admit that my kids are older and have no desire to track the movements of a fantasy stuffed doll during the holidays, so we do not participate. I have observed many odd things lately about this naughty creature. I just need to vent a bit.

First of all, parents use this game to make children behave by using their innate desire to please against them. "The elf is watching" parents say. But the elf does naughty things. Who is watching the elf? There are endless boards and websites devoted to showing parents what kind of mischief the family elf should wreck around the house. This is like/not like the "Santa is watching" I grew up with. Santa was never seen and certainly would never TP the bathroom or spread glitter around the mantle. It's kind of confusing to me, but so are a lot of things. I do enjoy the fun pics of kids freaking out when the elf gets touched though. Apparently the elf loses magic if he/she is touched or played with by the kid. Seems kind of cruel to me.

I also notice parents getting freaked out by the work of keeping up with the elf all December and remembering to move him/her and create fancy scenes for their children to find in the morning. Seems like a lot of work  to me. Especially at this time of year. And for what effect? Entertainment? For the children? My kids are plenty entertained, thanks. That's why we have computers, and game systems, and TVs, and books. I have to wonder if parents don't participate in this just to prove they can. Since I have failed as the tooth fairy for years, and that only happens occasionally, I'm pretty sure that keeping up the elf charade would be a total flop.

I know this is just a cultural thing and it's not harmful. I know that I resist new and different things just because I am stingy that way. I honestly just don't get the new craze. So, I intend to continue with my marginal, yet just as special, routine for holiday happenings. Mine go something like this: postpone putting up the tree until the youngest begs me enough that I have to respond, find the stockings a few days later, fake "losing" the garlands I bought last year after the holiday so that I don't have to put them up (and thus take them down),  put off gift shopping until the last day, wrap in one long painful session where my legs ache and my feet hurt and I just don't care if you get your present in a Walmart bag, and binge watch my latest Netflix entertainment as long as possible.

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!