Saturday, November 10, 2012

Sneak attack!

[pokes my head in and looks around.. notices dead crickets who chirped too long, dust bunnies in riot gear, and tumbleweeds careening around the furniture. Somewhat post apocolyptic and certainly desolate, I realize this is my mind.. kind of..]

This is the state of my blog room. It has been way too long since I posted anything worthwhile. It feels like I use all my personal resources and wit at work and on my classwork. My poor family. The house is starting to resemble the blog room. I get to go see Skyfall with the hubby this afternoon. Yay! Some time away together! We don't do this nearly often enough.

I am hopeful that in the next 3 weeks or so, I will finish the bulk of this semester's classwork and I can attempt to figure out how to better manage life next semester. 1 or 2 classes?? That is the question. 2 about kicked my butt this semester. I know I haven't been able to be my happy self enough. But if we can make a few changes, it might work. And I'm used to is now. I just don't like it.

Is it worth it? Yep. I think so. I am ready to get out of the classroom experience and find another field to serve in. Since we are not able to teach the way we want any more, and documentation and special interests trump the overall learning process of the majority, I'm on my way to done in a full on sprint.

And I'm sad. Some good friends are retiring. Mentors and ladies that make my job much more pleasant. Teachers who I can turn to for inspiration when I don't know what to do or when I need a cheering up. I will miss them. They are amazing friends and mentors and peers. There is a grief in realizing I am now one of the "old ones" on campus. 15 years doesn't seem long enough to reach that position, but I suppose that's the new way of it.

I am in search of joy right now. I know where to find it. I must start reading the Bible regularly. The last month has been horrible and I know that the lack of good spiritual nourishment is withering my spirit. So, I think I'll go do that right now. Revival is imminent! In my heart at the least!


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