$42

$42.00. The account got down to $42.00 before payday. We were able to make it, and pay for school, and eat, and do what needed to be done. Did you know that the end of school is expensive???

Why do I share such a personal thing you might ask. Because having such slim margins for error freak me out! But I am finding that the older I get, the more important those margins are. And I am questioning if they should be all that important. I think being obediant to what God has called me to do is more important than sweating the money flow.

Forgot to share

I seldom forget to share stuff as I live my life out in the open, mostly, well, at least the stuff I want you to know.

I did pay the tuition on Friday. And it still hasn't cleared my account. Tomorrow is the day to see if we overdraw or not. I shift back and forth between worry and dread and reminding myself to have faith that the Lord will take care of us. I can no longer wag my finger at those crazy forgetful Hebrews who so quickly walked away from God after He had done so many miracles for them. I, too, forget what He has done.

I forget that He has called me to this process of getting a Master's degree when I worry about getting it all done.

I forget that He has parented me when I worry about how I am parenting my kids.

I forget that He has ordered my steps when I look at my calendar and get the shiver/shakes when I see week after week filled up in "MY" relaxing summer.

I forget that He has called me to live a life without regrets when I see all the things to do on my list instead of opportunities to serve others.

I forget. It's that simple. And He is faithful to remind me who is really the boss in my life.

Faith deadline

I have previously shared my test of faith in regards to tuition for this summer. The deadline is 5 days away. God has shown me that there may be enough left in the checking account for me to pay it outright. That in itself is an answer to prayer. I could transfer the money today. The twist comes with the fact that it will drain the account and leave little spending money for the next week, a week that includes friends coming down for the long weekend, groceries for the family, and some end of school expenses. And a child who is sick with a bug.We don't get paid until Friday. I know that we won't go hungry, though the meals might be highly unbalanced, and the bills won't be late. It's just a really close shave if you know what I mean. I hate not having that "padding" in the account for the unforeseen needs that crop up many times. How much am I willing to sacrifice? How much of my "financial" safety am I willing to sacrifice?

I will most likely decide how to proceed today . Your prayers are precious and working. I stayed strong and didn't jump at the "last minute emergency summer tuition loan" they offered me. I was tempted, but quickly remembered the conviction I am under about that.

I hate deadlines, but they do force me into action when I am frozen in uncertainty. That's a good thing.

Lazy Saturday morning

Lazy Saturday morning
A day filled with possibilities
What will I make of it?

Will I worry needlessly about where the money for school will come from?
I will not.
Will I waste the time playing ridiculous games that involve crushing virtual candy?
I will not.
Will I fuss at the family for their inability to see dirt, junk, and mess strewn around the house?
I will not.

Will I spend time with God and ask for the faith to wait patiently for his plan to be made know?
Yes, I will!
Will I work diligently to improve my surroundings for myself and those I love?
Yes, I will!
Will I ask the family to pitch in and help instead of glaring at them while I do it myself?
Yes, I will!

Lazy Saturday morning
A day made more clear
What will I make of it?

Running through...

A quick numerical update as I am running through the house..

16 days of school left. 24 days til we leave for camp. 15 days until summer classes start. $1500 needed to pay off summer classes (I dropped to 6 hours instead of 12). 20 appendages that need painting. 3 retirement parties left to attend. 1 raccoon still haunting my chimney. 1 raccoon shot by my neighbor off the back fence. 3 days left of paid vacation that I can't find the time to take. 10 loads of laundry that need doing. 30 minutes by myself today.

Off to church!

Updates, updates

Just a quick update... STAAR week went fine and as expected. The kids worked really hard and I am proud of them no matter how they score


Finances for summer classes are trickling in. My $500 scholarship will post for summer, so that's about 10%. Still waiting for word on the rest. Keep praying and I will share when there is news to share and we can praise the Lord together.

I had a great visit with my mom last weekend. So good to see her. Some times, seeing Momma makes it all better.

That about covers it.

On the eve of STAAR

Tomorrow begins STAAR testing week. And I am dreading it. Not because I have to actively monitor a 4 hour test. Nor because the daily schedule will be mixed up so that the kids are completely out of sorts. But because I think the test is a false measure of what my kids know. Because my third graders still have 6 weeks to make progress. Because they shouldn't have to take a test that is more fitting to a 5th or 6th grader. Because the students I have grown to love and care about are nervous about taking a standardized test for the first time and I know they won't get the rest they need.

My own third grader seems a little oblivious to the fact that he has a big test to take. He knows it will be hard and he just doesn't show much emotion about it. Maybe that will change tomorrow. Maybe not. I can only hope that these days pass in the blurr that they are.

All week I have been seeing articles about state testing and how inappropriate it is and I know it will always be here. That makes me sad. Because I know that having a high stakes test promotes poor, narrowly focused teaching in order to make a score. Because accountability in the test falls on teachers, schools, prinicipals, and districts and not the students themselves. And I know that as long as a company can make money producing tests for an entire state or nation, it will be in their best interests to listen to the people with the money, and that is not the teachers who understand how education works. It makes me sad.

So I'm going to head into this week with an attitude of love, caring, and survival. And when it is finished, I will get back to the real business of teaching students life skills that are not scored on a bubble sheet.

Day start.
On time for early tutoring.
Kids grounded from screens.
Sad kids.
Busy day.
Lots to teach.
Cranky students.
Team meeting.
Many parent contacts.
More teaching.
Stubborn student.
Job done.
See friend with flat tire.
Help friend.
Get home.
Door knob broken.
Got Screwdriver.
Removed door knob.
Texted husband.
Helped son with homework.
Reheated dinner.
Cranky Mommy.
Daddy home.
Download day.
Feeling better.
Off to get new door knob.
Find new door knob.
Tuck kids in.
Fix old door knob.
Dead tired.
Read for fun.
Day ends.